Lucy:  Hey Michalene, check it out!  She’s sleeping with her mouth open.  (Luce has crept up to her sleeping victim’s head)

Michalene O’Flynn:  (on the hapless victim’s other side - his muzzle millimeters from her lips)  Look at those nubby teeth.  It’s a wonder they live as long as they do.  And, somebody needs a breath mint.  Bad.

Lucy:  Touch her tongue!  Do it!

Michalene:  No way!  You touch it! 

Lucy:  You touch it, you big baby.  God, you’re such a chicken. 

Michalene:  You do it!  You wanted to do it first.  Those flat teeth could grind my paw off to a nub!  Go ahead, Super Pug, I bet you won’t do it either!

Lucy:  You are such a pussy.  (Luce delicately puts her paw in the victims mouth and feels the tongue of the sleeping human)

Michalene: ooooooooooo.  What’s it like?  (Intently watching Lucy’s paw)

Lucy:  Damp and squishy with a heapin’ helping of raw chicken breast. 

Michalene:  Ewwwwwwwwwwww! (The human victim stirs and both dogs leap in the air and shoot off the bed to the floor, where they snicker and laugh like hyenas for a good hour)

Me:  I’m 95% sure this happened last night.  Off to gargle.  Rinse and repeat!