Posts tagged Lucy The Pug
Posts tagged Lucy The Pug
Lucy The Pug: Yo Dude! Mix a Livertini or three.
if i have a kid i’m gonna name her lucifer and we’re gonna call her lucy and people are gonna be like “oh is it short for lucille?” and she’ll have to be like “no my name is lucifer”
Lucy The Pug: Hey! That’s my real name!
I’m as plush as the softest hair on satan’s hiney.
Me: Yes you are Lucyfur, yes you are.
Fat is all creature’s enemy.
Me: Lucy! You have to watch this gif. It is hilarious!
Lucy The Pug: Are you trying to tell me something?
Lucy the Pug got two dinners on Sunday. The party continues.
I’m waiting for the day when someone comes up to me and asks: “Hey, you like pugs, right? Do you know that Tumblr, epicpugs?” And I can be like
WHY YES I RUN THAT BLOG.
and feel darned awesome.
megellen and Lucy the Pug: Lucy and I were walking on the Mall in DC in ‘09. Lucy was wearing a hand made (thanks Jen!), one of a kind cape - pink with a skull. It’s awesome and one of Luce’s favs.
I had posted a lot of Lucy pictures with Luce wearing that cape on a SU blog. Lots.
So about half way around the mall, I realize we’re being pretty closely followed by 9-10 college age people that are all speaking German and Dutch. I’m not too worried but make a couple of turns and pick up my pace. No dice. They are still right behind me.
Lucy is mad now. She is not a happy fast walker. She plants her butt on the grass and refuses to take another step. There is practically a college kid trainwreck ten feet behind us.
I turn round to face them and one of the girls yells out “Lucy The Pug”.
After I recover from my heart attack, we chat, Lucy gets mondo pets and attention, and we get a coke at a mall food kiosk.
I never did figure out her SU avatar.
Chapter 5, Part 2
“Ow! Jeez Luce! Your laser pack is poking into my boob.” I say, adjusting my toddler/pug. I’m loaded down with pug, lasers, one lousy stun gun and our take out from the Italian place.
“Huh. Stop jiggling me! I’m pooped and I deserve to be carried like the dead-eye princess that I am!” Lucy retorts. She does, however, move the laser power pack from my left breast.
We’re slowly making our way across Dr. Kris’ back yard. Tasha is walking by herself now with Emil resting in her arms and Bo and Parson have point. Parson breaks ranks and runs to the open sliding glass door, calling out for Dr. Kris as he skitters across the deck.
“Dr. Kris! Dr. Kris!” He bellows and disappears into the house.
We drag our tired butts to the sunny deck and fall out on the cushioned lawn furniture surrounding a crystal clear in-ground pool. Lucy jumps out of my lap and heads under my chair to get out of the sun. It’s warm here and, finally, not raining. Steam is practically coming off our soggy clothes. An assortment of people, medical supplies and celebridogs come tumbling out of the house.
Dr. Kris comes right over and introduces her self with an engaging smile, “I’m Dr. Kris.” Dr. Kris is a lovely blond woman with enormous epic boobs. Lucy, Bo and Parson all look adoringly at her boobs and sigh.
We shake hands for a second as we head for Tasha who is still, well, bleeding.
“Special pillows…” Dr. Kris says, rolling her eyes at the celebridogs who are still watching her breasts with rabid attention. Dr. Kris takes one look at Tasha and Emil and yells for back up.
“Higgins! Get my bag and get over here.” Dr. Kris yells over her shoulder at a large glossy blond cocker spaniel. A large blond cocker spaniel wearing a pink polo and carrying a large pack slung over his shoulder, no less.
Chapter 5, Part 1
I position Lucy securely on my left hip and wrap my arm tightly around her waist. Lucy’s not very happy. She really wants down to sniff around but honestly Parson and I don’t trust her for a second.
“Your laser powered up?” I ask, jiggling Lucy like a gassy baby. We are fast approaching the rear of the restaurant. It’s an Italian joint and the smell of marinara sauce and ricotta cheese is wafting through every pore of the building.
“Marinara……” Lucy says hypnotically in my left ear. Lucy’s forgotten Emil and Tasha and her eyes have focused on the slightly ajar back door. A large blob of drool hits my left shoulder.
“Jesus, Lucy! Keep it together.” I say.
“What? What?” Lucy says, shaking her head. Drool goes everywhere, not that it matters as its still drizzling. “Ha! I’m totally focused. Can you find your stun gun?”
“Cork it, stumpy!” I say as I put my back up against the damp brick of the restaurant. I kiss Lucy right above her right eye and she presses up against me and the bricks as we both try to blend in. My stun gun is my right hand. Sweaty but still serviceable. Where in the hell is Parson? I check my watch again. Parson has been gone for three minutes.
Just four minutes prior, Parson insisted I pick up a soggy Lucy and carry her. I call Bo on my cell phone, let him know our location and ask him to call in the troops. Parson left us to reconnoiter scents and mentions casually that it might be a good idea if we hide behind the restaurant until he gets back. I didn’t argue.
Parson pokes his head around the corner. “Hey gals!”
Both Lucy and I yelp and hug each other. “Parson, you ass!” I choke out, clutching Lucy. “Stop being so sneaky. Dang! Whistle next time or something.” Parson is obviously killing himself trying not to laugh at us.
“Emil and Tasha’s scent goes straight to row house about half a block down. It’s quiet, dark and the scent is fairly fresh. Did you speak to Bo?”
Chapter 4, Part 4
What do you mean; there is no sign of Hans’ code in the grid? I say with my heart falling. “I thought you could tell who used Lucy’s Yard?
“Well, we see a code come in and a different code leave but they aren’t assigned codes.” Bo answers with Michalene nodding over Bo’s right shoulder. Parson is still nose deep in printouts with an ear cocked to our conversation. Lucy and Newt sleep on a pillow in the corner of the Grid office.
Emil assigns everyone codes?” I’m still trying to muddle this out. “Is it like a driver’s license?”
“Yes!” Bo says, visibly brightening at my hint of understanding. “Emil assigns everyone their personal traveling code and every Yard has a destination code. When we travel the Yards, we put the codes in and presto, we travel from one place to the next. These codes are the temporary codes Emil uses to set up an account. You’ll get one soon.”
“What!” I say, very pleased. I’m momentarily distracted by the thrilling prospect of using the Yards on my own. Focus, Emmaluna, focus. “Do we have any leads with the temporary codes?”
Parson looks up from the massive pile of printouts he’s pawing through. “I’ve got four possible names.” Parson rips about six pages of printout off the pile with his capable snout and trots over to join us. “One name is completely out of the running as it’s not feasible, and the three remaining potentials come from codes traveling between Luce’s, Pink Paws and Emil’s. I think we have the codes that Hans is using.”
“But you’re not sure.” I interrupt. “They’re not assigned codes.”
“Codes plus scent equals Hans. Hans has been to Emil’s before. I’d say he got Emil livered up and stole the codes. The other set of codes traveling behind us belong to Shane and Scruggs and the third belongs to an afghan hound named Melanie.”
“What is the fourth? The one that’s not feasible.” I ask. I don’t want to leave any stone unturned.
Chapter 4, Part 3
“Come on Lucy, zip it up.” I say while bouncing the squalling pug on my hip. She’s crying so loudly, I can’t hear the others speak. Lucy bails out of my arms to burrow head first into the blankets on my couch giving me an awesome view of her butt.
“Where do we start searching for Tasha and Emil?” I barge in and ask Bo, who is talking quietly with Parson and Michalene.
“I need to know where the killer picked up our trail. We were discussing whether it was at Cowdogs or Pink Paws.” Bo starts, edging over to let me in the circle. Newt jumps on Luce’s couch to offer a supporting paw. The blankets partially smother out the sound of pug squall and we’re all grateful.
“We spent a day in Texas. Everyone on the planet managed to spot us; it wouldn’t be a stretch for the killer to have spotted us, as well. Do you think we should stake out Cowdogs or something?” To be honest, I’m at a loss for what to do and I’m seriously missing Tasha.
“We need to call Pathetic Bob.” Michalene starts, leaping a bit off of the ground. “PB needs to know what’s happened and he has his paws in almost every part of the celebridog world. He’s got squirrel eyes on Cowdogs now. Maybe they’ve spotted Tasha and Emil.”
Bo nods at Michalene. “A quick call to Shane and Scruggs is in order, as well, and maybe some higher-ups to let them know about Emil and Tasha.”
“It doesn’t have to be the Texas connection.” Parson says, looking guilty. “You could have been followed from Pink Paws?”
“It’s the p-p-p-p-p-pig ears!” Lucy yowls out. It sounds like she’s howling up from the bottom of a deep well. We all turn to look at Lucy because we can barely understand her. Lucy’s head is under the blankets and we get to talk to her chubby (and naked) posterior.
Chapter 4, Part 2
It’s getting late in the afternoon at Pink Paws in New York when we literally run back to Vancouver. All the sitting around in parking lots and hanging out in celebridog bars is rendering me seriously out of shape. Michalene takes pity on my gasping and leaps out of my arms when we hit the Vancouver Yard. Whew. He is only six pound heavier than Lucy. I believe it’s time to hit the gym.
We pile into Emil’s foyer, with Bo in the rear. Emil barks for Lucy, Parson and Newt and takes off to find them, skittering on the hardwood floors.
I stop short in the great room and Michalene plows into me putting a cold nose on my leg before shooting past my right side. “Do you think we should stake out The Green Pup?” I ask no one in particular. I’ve got a niggling idea in the back of my head and I can’t make it pop out.
“The Green Pup?” Tasha asks. I keep forgetting Tasha doesn’t know all the celebridog hotspots.
“The Green Pup is an eco-friendly celebridog bar near Kitsilano beach. Apart from Emil personal Yard at his house and Kits beach, The Green Pup is the only Yard around.” I say.
“The Yards are down.” Bo says, peering at me through his eye fringe. He is trying to figure out the direction of my idea. Good luck. I’m not really sure myself.
“The Yards are down but everyone knows Emil’s Grid Czar. Half of the Pink Paws crowd saw Michalene leave with Lucy and Emil and me and the other half knew about it 15 seconds later.” I am thinking aloud and I’m pacing around the vast space of Emil’s loft.
“You think whoever killed Christine will come here? Why? I believe the killer may lay low for a while.” Bo questions patiently. “We don’t know for certain that the bad ear dealer and Christine’s killer are one and the same.
Michalene and I both stare at Bo until he shakes his head. “You know what I mean, the celebridog police do not have evidence that it’s one and the same dog.”